*old S&M idea, long time fantasy. When I shared it with my guy he listened carefully as he always does. Then with the edge of danger I love to dance on he says, “I never really liked to chase. I catch.” Of course its one of the reasons I adore him. He is one of the few that can catch me, while we both know he could out wrestle, out fight, out think me on so many levels. I have no desire to test him. Yet.” 

She slid into the long grass and nestled herself into the shadowy trunk of a tree. The rough bark pushing through her T-shirt. Why had she agreed to this? Her heart slammed against her ribs. She breathed deeply through her nose, trying to not make a sound. The rustle of brush startled her. She shook her head, this was so not worth the six hundred dollars she had been offered.

He passed so close that her scent filled his nose. Lovely slut, he thought. His hard on was becoming uncomfortable, they had been at this for three hours now. Something about this girl made him feel feral. A glimpse of red hair whipped out in front of him. “Come out. Come out ” he taunted

She ran as quickly as she could, searching desperately for the river she could faintly hear. A branch snapped behind her…… there was no way he could have tracked her. She turned slowly, afraid of being caught and almost desperately wishing it were over.



My heart hurts tonight. Treacherous people circle around my happy times. A near frenzy of sharks feeding. Waiting for the first drop of blood.

Along with my body, medical issues demanded all of my energy for 5 weeks or so. Now I’m filling all of these vouchers bought for my business. (Which please realize I am NOT complaining about it) Truthfully I’m just observing.

Then again I’m probably just sleepy. Also fantasizing about my own place. With a GIANT bed that I can fill with lush pillows. I’m going to get a big good for snuggling dog and my little Pomeranian and we will have sleepy perfect nights.

Yep. That’s what I’m dreaming about tonight. Mostly 🙂

The rest of my thoughts leave me writhing in sweet agony. Imagining being slowly taken. The pain delivered precise and shattering.

What a juxtaposition.


No other words could describe it better for me.

Vanillamom's Blog

I could just jump right in here and say “my best part is…..”

But you know I won’t. *laughs*

Well, hell, I *know* I’m easy…but we don’t want it to end *that* fast, now do we? Right. See? I know YOU, too. 🙂

It’s Thursday as I sit and reminisce. And I will tell you that things are still floating in and out of my head, a plethora of images..His eyes, the …concentrating, I guess…way that He dug into that damned black bag as I lay on the bed watching Him.  He’d pull something out, lay it on the bed. Repeat. Occasionally He’d pull out something and say “Oh! I’d forgotten all about that!” and then He’d look up at me, wiggle the toy at me, and smile.

Threat, promise, glee.

Though that was a very amusing part (and a bit titillating)…it still isn’t my favorite.

Then there was the…

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Like glue

I’m very lucky you know. I have this partner and that person loves me. In the for real, story book, horse and carriage sort of way. We spend time together, literal endless hours. Going over ideas, creating, destroying. We always share and love. Oh do we ever laugh!

A love like this has never happened before. It never will again, not on the face of this Earth. You see the person I’m talking about is myself. I have built a home here, within these walls. There have been many people who have come in, ripped out things, painted my walls whatever color they thought necessary. There have been children that I believed to be adults attempt to destroy my foundation.

I’d like you to read this next part very fucking carefully.

It. Will. Not. Happen.

Do those words make sense to you? I can say it in many different languages.

I love myself in an indulgent way. I know that whatever is thrown at me, I will never be truly alone. Because even if at some point in the future I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see. Well that’s up to me to change.

Like glue

The call

I needed you today, more than i realized. The seductive tone of your voice sliding into me. Even when the conversation takes a turn and we are talking about computers or movies or video games. My fingers are still stroking burning flesh.

But today we spoke of your thighs, yes I know. Im often fetishistic about it. The thick, dense muscles moving under your skin. Then you say it.

“Well you’ll be spending a lot of time holding onto them while my cock slides down your throat.”

Fuck. Even now I clench my legs together and push into the mattress. I imagine the loose fist you make post orgasm, lying against your leg. My head on the other, fingertips lightly tracing you.

You make a comment about how much you like hearing me get amped. But its also time to take my tits out of my tank top. I do. Excited at the thought of you listening to me.

“What toy do you have?”

My favorite one, I work it in deeply. Hard and fast.

“Do you need it enough?”

Yes. Yes. Yes! I do. Please. I hear it in your voice, the happy denial.

“No I don’t think so. Not yet.”

Have I told you lately? That I love you. Long lines of filthy names, devastating words that only fuel me. Only make my teeth chatter. Only for you.

“Cum for me now.”

Said differently, testing me. I do. All that is holy I do. Flooding my clean sheets, the side of the mattress, the floor. You’re asking me questions now, I’m incoherent. It humors you.
A few minutes later we are back to talking. I really love the noise you make when you first touch your cock.

“Oh this noise?” Euphoria makes its way to my ears.

I tremble inside. We talk more about things that don’t matter, but make my world spin.

Iloveyou. Iloveyou. Iloveyou.

Through it all, through every thing.

One year is approaching. One year of you.

The call


The snap of the camera had become comforting. Bringing her back to days when all she did was sit a pose. But this time things were different. She smiled and gazed into the camera, remembering long ago conversations with her Master. Allowing those memories to spark the heat that lay within. Fingertips started to lazily roam exposed skin. Nails catching on lace, skipping down the slope of her breasts.

“That’s it” he breathed

A thrill ran through her, she looked over at him. Lip caught in her teeth arousal in her eyes. He pulled the camera away and she saw something new there. A realization he had not carried before. But the shoot was not done.

More outfit changes, less clothes being put on with each one. Finally she stood in just panties in front of the window. Watching scenes in her mind, first kisses, fingers in her hair, nails on her back. Then there were all of the toys, whips, floggers, clamps, fists. The sun warmed her, arousal melted the core within. He quickly slid through the photos on the camera smiling at shots he liked. The hug was very different than all of the ones they’d shared before. Vibrating with intimacy. Her nipples rubbed against the smooth fabric of her bra. Panties soaked between her thighs. It was dizzying standing there in a small whirlpool of affection. She felt both the desire to pull away and to push forward.

Later they parted, a friendly wave and smile between them. She sat in her vehicle for a moment assessing all of the fleeting intimacies in her life. Wondering if they were enough, doubting it for a moment. But essentially storing the fear away. There was no time for anything more.