Update!

1 Rope orgasm 2/2/2014
2 Clothed orgasm2/16/2014
3 Buy a dslr3/20/14
4 Acquire passport 6/18/14
5 Use passport 6/28/14
6 Take a cruise  9/21/14
7 Drive to New Orleans3/23/14
8 Be a total tourist in a new place 5/4/14
9 Get a massage and a facial 6/20/14
10 Actively submit
11 Fall in love
12 Dance
13 Sing
14 Kiss someone you’re crazy about 2/1/2014
15 Tell them an intimate secret2/9/2014
16 Watch one new movie a month (5/11)
17 Read one new book a month (11/11) jumped the gun on this one 🙂
18 Find a museum and go2/20/2014
19 Paint something2/20/2015
20 Create something with someone you care about months ago
21 Cook a new dish (11)
22 Write letters to those you love (Ashley, Cason, Hannah) give it to them
23 Max out on orgasms
24 Go for a boat ride5/4/14
25 Listen to a new band2/9/2014
26 Actively love yourself
27 Buy a new dress 3/12/14
28 Take LOTS of photos
29 Stay at a fancy hotel 6/4/14
30 Have a house party
31 Stay in bed all day with someone you adore
32 Make floor cushions
33 Buy and use “art is love” canvas
34 Get a tattoo 2/1/2014
35 Get family photos taken 9/14/14
36 Take a photo of each partner you have this year
37 Get a proper spanking2/16/2014
38 Flirt
39 Orgasm from just breast play 4/6/14
40 Experience anal
41 Swim in a lake
42 Kiss in the rain
43 Complete this list!
44 Help a stranger as often as possible
45 Build an herb garden 3/4/14
46 Try a brand new event (BED April)6/4/14
47 Bake for your neighbor
48 Float in a swimming pool5/4/14

Brand new updates! Had a request for the updated list. The post correlating to each marked off item can be found under the “getting a life” tag. Thank you for everyone’s incredible support!

A

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Update!

I’ve been morose

Grief is hard.

I’ve realized I am an introvert.

My feelings have been hurt very easily.

I’m not giving up on myself.

My mom’s death has been terribly hard for me. Growing more difficult as our birthday draws closer. October 24. She would have been 56. I will be 29, only two years older than we she delivered me. It’s very difficult imagining her not being here for what this next year will bring.

Sunday my sisters boyfriend will become a fiancé.  I’ve helped him, over the last two weeks, plan a surprise engagement and engagement party for her. It is going to be so bittersweet, watching the two of them begin their life. Watching her have a family I won’t be a part of. Trying to remind myself that maybe one day I’ll have a family too. Figuring out what to do with myself for holidays.

Because FYI, if you didn’t know. It totally sucks to be alone on holidays.

Me discovering I’m an introvert really isn’t a discovery. Maybe just an admission? I always thought I was morose. Truth is 90% of the time I’m happy being alone, I’m thankful to just curl up with my pups. I’m so exhausted after busy days of socializing.

While I can be a social butterfly, I love to observe quietly. On a rare occasion do I like to take the stage just to make people laugh. Or perform like I’ve done on the past. It always always takes me a few days to recoup.

My feelings, where to start. Maybe some of this stems from my grief. Maybe it’s old wounds still healing. There are certain people in my life I’ve had to choose to remove. Some days I feel saved other days, well I just feel abandoned.

The upside of this depression cycle is I’m seeing my self worth. Pockets of it here and there. Even though I’m at war with my image. I see the value of my love, my person. I feel the investment of my energy.

I am thankful.

I hope you are too.

All my love
A

I’ve been morose

10 weeks and counting

It’s been a long time since I’ve had this expansive amount of time between sex sessions. While I’ve had orgasms they have been 98% non penetrative. (<- is that a word even?) So this evening I've decided to break out the toy of all toys.

I can literally orgasm in under a minute with this thing. But I'd like to have one, a few? Who knows.

But tonight is the night. I'm also actually in bed with the thing, not just in the shower before I shampoo my hair. A quick eye rolling, shaking, and moaning orgasm and then it's off to work. I'm spending some time with my vagina.

Let's see if we remember how to do this.

10 weeks and counting