Sweet Christ

Back in April I signed up with a matchmaking service. Awfully expensive, and insofar completely not worth it. I’ve been on 5 dates.

Date #1
Within 5 minutes told me he was committing insurance fraud. For a back injury he received while in a company vehicle. After our date we was going to buy a jet ski. It lasted 20 minutes and I left.

Date #2
Handsome, funny, very small town minded. Definitely a friendly match but nonromantic.

Date #3
Didn’t speak to me for 20 minutes while he hid behind his menu. Expected me to pick up the check. Only talked about his illegal street racing in his brand new sports car.

Date #4
Gave me the creeps. As in I did not/could not be alone with him. I’m still wondering if he was on drugs. His pupils were completely dilated and he talked about his dogs bowel movements the entire time.

Now the magical, Date #5
That I just calmed down from. I was running a bit late so I called the restaurant to let him know. As I’m walking in he looks at me and starts shifting around. Then he won’t meet my eyes or even look at me in general. He’s fighting with himself to stay in his chair. I get to the table and say “Hi I’m A” he refuses to shake my hand. I slowly sit while he seems to want to flee. He says “I guess we can just ask for the check. I don’t date people like you. I told them I only want someone in shape.” So I got up and left. I was out the door before the hostess even got to the podium. Fucking devestated.

I’m so fucking finished.

Advertisements
Sweet Christ

DYRJST

“I’m obsessed with your tits”

“I need massages and tits in my face”

.

..

..

.

Yeah.

Keep going buddy you’re winning me over.

Make sure to get in line with everyone else who likes my tits and loves me until something better comes along.

Tonightisjustnotmynight.

Fuck.

DYRJST

DYRJST and a funny update

Here is another installment of jack assery.

20130624-225623.jpg

This was a first message.

Why do people make me sick to my stomach? Fuck!

Anywho, I colored my hair.

20130624-225802.jpg

So I’m brunette again.

20130624-225823.jpg

It’s actually “mahogany” can’t leave all of the red out. I had a date recently, on said outing he “outed” himself to the first person ever. So we went shopping at Pier One after lunch.

What a spin cycle this month has been. Sending you love!

DYRJST and a funny update

Season 1 Episode 1 of “Did you really just say that?”

So because of the sheer amount of ridiculous messages I get, I’ll be posting them here for you to enjoy with me. It will be tagged under “DYRJST”

“That’s ok you don’t seem like the type of woman someone would want around for a lifetime anyway.”

“Sure yeah let’s get married, I’ll get you pregnant and leave.”

“I would do anything to spend a day with you, like tell my wife I’m visiting my mom or something.”

“Well fuck your face is sort of cute. It does some shit to my cock.”

Funding partners: Fetlife, Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter.

Season 1 Episode 1 of “Did you really just say that?”